Week 12

5 Onion Style Headlines

1. KOBE BRYANT "ASSISTS" LAKERS IN WIN OVER MINNESOTA.
2. LINDSAY LOHAN GETS FOR D.E.A. IN LOS ANGELES.
3. MCILROY RETIRES ON NIKE CONTRACT, EQUIPMENT TO HARD TO USE.
4. MCDONALDS SALES INCREASE ON FISH-O-FILET, DROPS BIG MAC FROM MENU.
5. COURTNEY COX JAW HIT'S FLOOR DUE TO LATE BOTOX INJECTION.